What Is Socialisation for Dogs? It’s Probably Not What You Think
When we talk about dog socialisation, the same image usually pops into people’s heads, dogs running full tilt at each other in the park, tumbling around in a heap of zoomies, tails wagging, mouths wide open in a panting, feral blur.
But here’s the thing: that’s not really socialisation.
That kind of free-for-all approach to socialising your dog can sometimes do more harm than good and can often be a precursor to barrier-based reactivity. So if you’re a UK dog owner trying to get it right from day one, or if your current routine just isn’t working, let’s break it down.
Socialisation Isn't Playing With Every Dog They Meet
Letting your dog interact with every dog they see might seem like the right thing, especially as loveable puppies, but it’s a fast track to creating a dog who’s over-social, overly excited, and completely ignores cues from both you and other dogs, ultimately putting them at risk later down the line.
This kind of constant, unfiltered interaction can lead to things like:
🐾 Barrier frustration or lead reactivity (especially when they can’t say hi)
🐾 Poor boundaries and body language misreads
🐾 Over-arousal that tips into rough or risky play
🐾 Dangerous situations when they ignore a “leave me alone” from another dog
A dog who thinks every dog is a playmate often ends up in trouble. Because not all dogs want to engage. Some are older, in pain, fearful, or simply not interested, and if your dog doesn’t understand that, they’re far more likely to get snapped at, or worse. 
So What Is Socialisation, Then?
True socialisation is about teaching your dog how to exist calmly and confidently in the world.
It’s not about being everyone's best mate. It’s about co-existing. Being neutral. Learning that they don’t have to interact with every person, dog, or distraction.
Think:
🐶 Sitting quietly at a café while other dogs walk past
🐶 Watching a jogger or cyclist go by without lunging
🐶 Walking with a variety of dogs and people without getting overwhelmed
🐶 Checking in with you even when something exciting is happening
Sure, play can absolutely be part of that, but it needs structure. And ideally, it should be on your terms, not theirs.
Neutral pack walks are great way to socialise that is suitable for dogs of any age, size and breed to practice neutrality with each other, whether its just keeping your training topped up, or whether you have a reactive dog. A controlled environment like a pack walk is a great way to build confidence for fear-based reactivity, whilst for barrier-based dogs it helps bring the arousal levels down around others and instils that not every dog is there to play with.
Why “Just Letting Them Play” Can Backfire
A big mistake a lot of puppy owners make is thinking socialisation means throwing a bunch of young dogs together and letting them “figure it out.”
But letting puppies go full gremlin with each other doesn’t teach good behaviour, it teaches bad habits that are hard to break later.
Unstructured play with only same-age puppies can mean:
❌ Learning to ignore boundaries
❌ Practising hyper-arousal and poor recall
❌ Becoming too rough or too submissive
❌ Missing out on important social skills from older dogs
Instead, try to introduce your puppy to dogs of different breeds, sizes, and energy levels. Let them observe calmly first. And when they do play? Practice recall mid-play, call them back, reward, then release them to play again.
This one skill alone builds handler engagement, teaches control, and prevents that panicked “oh god, I can’t get my dog back” feeling later.
Some Dogs Just Aren’t That Social — And That’s Okay
Not all dogs are social butterflies. Some are more reserved, some more excitable. Some change as they get older. That’s completely normal.
Like us, dogs have their own personalities. You might start with a confident puppy who grows into a more selective adult. Or a shy rescue who blossoms over time. What matters is respecting who they are, not forcing interactions that make them uncomfortable.
That said, if your dog suddenly becomes more reactive or withdrawn, it’s worth a trip to the vet. Sudden behaviour changes can sometimes be linked to pain or discomfort.
Should Dogs Play With Other Dogs? Absolutely — But With Boundaries
Letting dogs play can be brilliant for enrichment, social learning and fun, if it’s safe and balanced. Here's your quick checklist:
✅ Both owners are happy with the interaction
✅ Dogs have compatible play styles
✅ You’re supervising and ready to step in
✅ You’ve got a reliable recall or a long line if needed
❌ Don’t let your dog run up to others, especially if they’re on a lead
❌ Don’t assume all dogs want to play just because yours does
❌ Don’t unclip the lead unless you know they’ll come back
The aim? Keep your dog’s focus on you, not on every dog in the park.
Settle Training Is So Underrated
One thing we bang on about a lot at Nervy Mutt is settle work, and honestly, it’s a game-changer.
Being able to ask your dog to lie down and relax in new environments is huge. It teaches patience, builds calm habits, and can help anxious dogs feel safer in the world by having clear direction and expectations.
Start small. 5 - 10 minutes a day. Garden cafés, park benches, picnic spots, just let them watch the world without having to interact with it.
And here’s a gentle reminder: not every human needs to touch your puppy either. Especially when they’re sleeping or settled. It’s okay to say no. It might be awkward or difficult at first, but over time it will get easier, we promise.
So, What Does Good Socialisation Look Like?
A dog that can ignore more than they interact.
One that checks in with you in exciting situations.
A dog who’s seen lots of the world, but isn’t constantly engaging with or reacting to it.
A pup who knows that sometimes, the best playmate is their human.
Socialisation isn’t about ticking off how many dogs your pup meets. It’s about teaching life skills that keep them safe, calm, and confident. Whether that’s on a busy street, at the vet, or in the middle of a pub garden.
Let them play. Let them explore. But always with balance, structure, and the understanding that sometimes, less is more.
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